Love, Laughter, & Lubovich: We're All Alright

This morning was what I like to call a "Hot Mess"! For some reason, Zoey was being a crank-a-potomus (yes, that's a real word in the Lubovich house) and was screaming while I was trying to dress her. I had her on the changing table and once the screaming became unbearable, and a tear trickled from her eye, I picked her up and attempted to dress her in my arms. Her screaming slowly turned into whimpers and I thought I'd try my luck propping her up on the Boppy and dressing here that way. Strike two! She began to scream again, but I just held my breath, tried not to look her in the eye (you know, the one with the trickling tear that just melts my heart), and carried on.

Avoiding eye contact meant that my eyes were shooting back and forth between her body and the floor, and during my second glance down at the carpet, I saw something that nearly made me sprint out of the room. Crawling towards my feet, at what seemed like the speed of light, was a mutant centipede-looking thing with horns! I am a total wimp when it comes to bugs and if it weren't for Zoey, sitting helplessly on the bed, coupled with my fear of loosing track of the little monster that had just invaded my bedroom, I would have ran screaming!!

Instead of running, I had to act like a big girl and pull myself together. What to do?, what to do?! While shushing Zoey, who was still screaming, I grabbed the bottle of carpet cleaner that was still on the floor on my side of the bed from the last time Zoey projectile spit up, and began spraying the intruder. I quickly realized that I didn't want a huge puddle of cleaning solution that was inevitably going to dry and get crunchy, so naturally I decide to use the bottle as a hammer of sorts and smash the mutant to death.

As I switched frantically between smashing and shushing, eventually the shushing stopped and I started throwing in a few grunts and commands each time the bottle hit the floor. It sounded something like this...

"Ugh! Stop!" (smash)

The mutant centipede kept moving...

"Ugh! Stop! (smash)

"Stop moving!! (smash, smash!)

"I (smash) said (smash) STOP MOVING!! (smash, smash)

During all of this, only a matter of seconds had gone by, but it was at that time that I caught sight of the open window and my heart sank. Please keep in mind that my child had been screaming the entire time and what I pictured next was mortifying.

I pictured a neighbor, only being able to hear and not see what was going on, calling the police...And then a knock at my door.

Officer: "Uh, ma'am, we got a call about a noise disturbance and some possible child abuse. Is everything alright?"

Me (holding Zoey, eyes puffy from the crying): "Oh yeah, see, what had happen was..."

And I'd explain that my child was crying before I started slamming the bottle of carpet cleaner on the floor repeatedly in an effort to kill the bug from Hell.

Once I shook that image from my mind, I decided that it was really time to toughen up. As I went back to lovingly shushing Zoey, I grabbed a tissue and quickly picked up the nearly lifeless, but still squirming, centipede. I ran him to the toilet and happily flushed him away. YAY! I did it! But I didn't have time pat myself on the back, there was still a frustrated infant that needed my undivided attention.

I took a deep breath, picked Zoey up, and rocked her until she calmed down. She allowed me to put her down on the changing table (Hallelujah!) and I began to dress her. Once I finally got her onesie on, I quickly moved on to her pants. I was clearly still a bit flustered because after getting one leg in, I realized that I hadn't snapped the onesie! Grrrr. I seriously contemplated just leaving it and letting it flap in the wind like one of those penguin suit tuxedo jackets! However, after another deep breath, I calmly took her leg back out and snapped her up the way she deserved to be snapped. After all, it wasn't her fault that I was on the verge of having a nervous breakdown (okay, maybe it was a partially her fault..). Still, I couldn't just leave her hangin' like that. Finally, she was dressed, I hadn't been eaten alive by our unwanted house guest and all was right with the world again.

Like I said...Hot Mess!

A little later, my mom came over and the three of us spent the afternoon running errands. We hit up the Supermall, the post office and Costco. I love it when she comes over and helps nudge me out of the house! I actually got a lot done today :)

OK, OK, I'm sure you've been thinking "just bring on the pictures already!" Here are a few from our evening. Zoey had made her way back to cranky and the only thing that seemed to help was bouncing her on my lap (love it when I get to be the cure :)